


I am Weak

by HatterSaz



Category: Karneval
Genre: Character Death, Hurt, I'm Sorry, Minor Character Death, Nai has a made up power
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 08:04:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4514313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HatterSaz/pseuds/HatterSaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nai and Gareki escape a veruga attack and head back to the ship. Things don't have a happy ending though...<br/>(Nai has a new power I made up)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I am Weak

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for this...I couldn't sleep and my brain said this would be a good story. Again, I'm sorry but, please enjoy to some extent...  
> Also consider the fact I wrote this at like 3 in the morning with no sleep whatsoever so...probably has mistakes and is a bit rough but, there you go...

We walk along the woods, hoping that we'll make it to the clearing where it's safe. Well, safer than here at least. I wince as a gust of wind tickles my open wound. This damn thing is making me slower, which is putting the person I swore to protect in danger. I'm having to lean on him for support too. I'm so weak! I cough as another gust of wind grazes over my wound. Blood flies from my mouth to join the trail I'm leaving on the floor.

"Gareki!" I look at Nai and try a smile. It's not a big one but, then again, I never did smile that wide anyway. "Don't worry. Lets just keep moving." He nods slowly, not fully convinced, and we keep moving. We have to get out of here.

Another few minutes pass and I can feel myself get weaker. This is it, isn't it? This is my end. At least, I died saving Nai. That way, I can feel a little better about it.

I trip on a called branch and slam into the cold ground. The colour of my blood turning the fresh laid snow a dark red. Nai looks like he's panicking. I have to get him to leave. If he stays, he'll be in danger. "Nai...you, you have to go." His eyes widen and I can tell he's going to cry. "No! I can't leave you here! You're making the same red trail as Karoku..." Damn it. He's bound to be blaming himself for this. "Idiot...if you don't go...you'll have a red trail too..." Why am I going easy on him? He won't understand unless I drill it into him. I have to force him to leave.

"No! I won't go!" I grit my teeth. Not good. I'm, going to, die before I can, make him go. "Listen...you have to, go get help...yeah, go get, Tsukumo, or Yogi..." He furiously shakes his head. Moron! Just listen to what I'm saying...please... "I can't leave you Gareki! You need someone to keep you company while you gain your strength. And someone to protect you." "And you, plan on protecting me? Idiot, you have, a better chance, of bringing Yogi back here first..." It's getting, hard to breathe.

"Gareki...please don't leave like Karoku did." He isn't crying. He must be, holding them back. I smile. He's getting stronger, at least. "Nah, I'm good...just, go get Yogi, ok?" He shakes his head again. Nai, nothing good will come, from you sitting there. "I will protect you!" My eyes widen as much as they can. Which isn't much. He's determined, to see this, to the end. So tired...

I can't help but, close my eyes. I fight it, but there's no point. "Nai...please..." I try to make a sentence come out but, I can't. So tired...

 

* * *

 

I open my eyes and squint at the light. It wasn't this bright was it? I feel some warmth against my chest and look down. Nai wriggled his way under my arm and is hugging me. This reminds me of a film we watched once. Nai cried his heart out in that scene. He seems to be asleep now though. That makes me feel sleepy too. I'm just glad my stomach doesn't hurt anymore. A little nap won't hurt...

 

* * *

 

I open my eyes to see the orange clouds floating through the sky. I still feel a body hugging me but, it's looser, and colder. I look down and notice that Nai is still asleep. Is he waiting for me to get up? I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes. Hang on, what's with all this red? That's right! I was injured...no, I was dying! So why...why am I still here?

I nudge Nai's arm. "Nai, get up. We can go now." Nothing. I feel a pain in my chest and a sting in my eyes. "Nai." Another nudge with no reaction. "Nai!" Again, I nudge him and, nothing. I roll him over to see his face but, that's not what grabs my attention. My eyes widen as I see a gaping wound in Nai's stomach. My wound. The tears that threatened me before now roll down my face. "NAI!" I shake him but, he doesn't move. He's so cold. He couldn't be...no!

I hold him close as I press my ear to his chest. I listen closely for a sound. Anything! No... This can't be happening! I was supposed to protect him! So how did he get hurt?! And where's my wound?! Nai! Please don't go! You can't die on me! Tsubaki and Yotaka were close but, they didn't feel like siblings. But you were different! You feel like a little brother to me! You can't leave me alone again! I squeeze the limp body closer to me. You can't...you just can't...not now...

 

* * *

 

I feel a crunch in the snow and look up to see Hirato stood a few feet away. He looks stunned at my red, poofy eyes. Then he looks at the bundle in my arms. I feel the sting return and look back down. I can't let him go. I hug him closer and weep a little as the footsteps continue. "Gareki...it's time to go." I shake my head, tears flying in all directions. When did I turn into the crybaby? This is Nai's job. Hurry up and wake up so you can cry in my place moron! "Gareki...I know it hurts, but we have to leave. We can bring him with us but..." He trails off. He knows I know what he's getting at. But I can't. "I just can't..." I hear him sigh and clench my fists. "I'm not a child! I know he's gone! I just...I just wanted...to protect him...and I ended up...getting him killed..." I cry into Nai's shoulder. Why won't they stop? I'm not supposed to care for anyone but...Nai's found his way in. And now...now he's gone! And it's my fault!

I feel a tug on my arm, and look up to see I'm being flown back to airship 2. Nai isn't in my arms anymore! I look around frantically until I spot white hair flowing in the wind. Hirato has him securely under his other arm. He looks so...limp, and lifeless. His face is blank. Not like it should.

We land in the ship and Yogi runs up to us. He immediately checks on me and I say nothing. I can't. If I speak, I know my voice will break. Just like it did down there with Hirato. I barge past as Yogi moves over to Nai. "Nai-Kun? No....NO!" I hear both male and female sobs as I walk down the corridor. I can't handle this.

 

* * *

 

I stand staring at my bed. No, mine and Nai's bed. I look at his rolled up covers and wait for him to leap out of them. The goofy grin plastered on his face once more. The familiar sting returns after five minutes and, I let them fall. I collapse to my knees and hold my hands to my eyes, hopefully catching the tears before the hit the ground. I'm weak. I am weak. I'm so sorry Nai. If I wasn't weak then...if I had just listened to Yogi then...I'm so sorry...

 

* * *

 

I couldn't sleep last night. Just like I haven't slept the past four nights. I can't risk it. Everytime I close my eyes. His image is there. His bloody, lifeless body, dying the snow a distinct red. The intense red of his with no feeling...no emotion. I tried to forget. Tried to pretend he didn't exist...to make it easier. But I couldn't. I'd never admit it but, I care too much to forget. He was like my little brother. I cared for that idiot...to the point I would offer myself on a silver plater to keep him safe.

This ship isn't the same. Even the sheep are depressed. One even committed suicide. It just pressed a button inside it's head and blew itself up. But, Jiki fixed it. He wiped it's memory banks so it wouldn't be so upset. Then, it remembered. Like Nai was a force you couldn't erase, he seeped back into the sheep's data. Of course, the sheep grew depressed again. This time opting to jump from the ship and into the ocean. They still haven't found it. I don't blame it though. Without the hyperactive brat running around...it's gotten quiet...and, our room...is lonelier.

 

* * *

 

Here we are. Stood in an oval around a freshly dug hole. Everyone is in black. We all have that well known sting in our eyes. Yogi will break soon. I already have. I'm just quiet about it. I've learnt to hide my tears.

Hirato gives a speech and we all stand and listen. I feel like jumping into that hole. Just, burying myself to stop the pain. The tiny casket shouldn't be here. He should be here. We shouldn't be burying him. We should be sat, playing, having a laugh...occasionally hitting Yogi for being an idiot.

Hirato finishes his speech and we all bow our heads. The tears have stopped now. Yogi and Tsukumo are still wailing away but...I've cried out my last tears. I'm dry. The cold wetness will never bother me again. As I have chosen, to not get close to anyone again. Life boils it down to one of three choices, enemy, obstacle, and easy mark.

**Author's Note:**

> Good end: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4514379  
> Nai version: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4514424


End file.
